


Inconvenient Ideal

by agitatedscreamsofsilenece (complexsapphire)



Series: Disabled Complexes [1]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-29 18:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15079037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/complexsapphire/pseuds/agitatedscreamsofsilenece
Summary: Die and Kaoru were just having some fun. Even after Kaoru started dating, he made sure to keep it as an open relationship so he could continue his fun with Die. It's not wrong to have friends with benefits, right? There's nothing wrong with that as long as everyone involved knows the deal.There's nothing wrong with it until Kaoru gets engaged and feelings start to develop. How do they deal with that?





	1. One: Making Up

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently got back into writing about these guys and finally decided to post something on them. I've had a lot of writer's block so it may be a little rough but go easy. I'm thinking of making this a series, especially since I have a lot of material from Die's blogs but we'll see. Hope you enjoy!

Kaoru yawned as he knocked on the door to Daisuke’s hotel room. Between meetings and rehearsals, most of his days were busy lately. He hadn’t talked to the guys too much lately outside of work and he’d like to change that, especially with Daisuke. 

His relationship with Daisuke was different from his relationship with the others. It had been different for a long time. They were best friends that had turned into best friends with benefits. When Kaoru got a girlfriend, they remained in an open relationship so Kaoru could continue seeing Daisuke. The minute Kaoru got engaged, it all stopped though and Daisuke avoided him like the plague.

The minute the door opened, Kaoru pushed Daisuke in the room and shut the door. He shoved Daisuke against the wall before he pressed his body against that of his best friends and kissed him. He didn’t miss the fact that Daisuke wasn’t kissing back and after a minute, Die pushed him back.

“I don’t want to do this, Kaoru.”

“Why?” Kaoru asked. “Why have you avoided me?”

Daisuke pulled free and moved away from him. He merely shrugged his shoulders and turned to face him.

“There’s no reason to talk unless it’s about work.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“No, it’s not, Kaoru. You’re getting married and the minute you got engaged, that was the end of us.” Die’s voice came out like a bitter hiss. It almost made Kaoru wince. 

“Die--”

“We’re over, Kaoru.”

“First off, what does it matter if we’re--”

He looked at Kaoru as if he were betrayed. “We shouldn’t have continued this so long, that was a mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t, I wanted you and I--”

“Yeah but problems occur when feelings develop,” Die interrupted once again. “I shouldn’t have let this happen.”

Kaoru was silent for a moment. “You have feelings for me?”

“Is it really a surprise, Kaoru? Really?” Die glared and turned away. “Just leave.”

Kaoru remained silent before he reached out and shoved Die against the wall again. Die looked at him with such anger but Kaoru didn’t turn away.

“I love you, Daisuke, and I won’t ‘just leave’ like this.”

Die’s glare softened a little bit but not much. “It doesn’t matter, you’re getting married--”

“No,” Kaoru said, shaking his head. “I broke it off.”

Die just stared at Kaoru for a moment. He was absolutely speechless and when Kaoru kissed him again, he allowed it this time. He did eventually push him back though.

“Are you serious? When were you going to tell me?” Daisuke mumbled.

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. If you’d stop interrupting me, I would have told you.”

“But why? You just asked me what does it matter if--”

Kaoru placed his hand over Die’s mouth and smiled slightly. “I was curious as to what you would say. Do you really have to ask why?” He pulled his hand away and took a step back. “Let’s cut the nonsense and just get together already, ne? I love you, Die, I wasn’t lying when I said that.”

Die slowly nodded. “I love you too.”

He didn’t give Kaoru a chance to respond. He pushed Kaoru against the bed and moved on top of him, only to kiss him. He was going to take advantage of this night.

 

-  
After much needed rounds of passionate and angry sex, Kaoru didn’t bother redressing himself. He remained there in bed with Die, gazing at the ceiling while his right arm wrapped around his lover. Die hadn’t moved much either but Kaoru didn’t expect him too, he did sort of fuck him hard. He was kind of rough but he was frustrated and still a little upset that Die assumed he would have let them end.

“So are you still upset with me?”

“No,” Die hummed. “But did you really have to be so rough? I’m going to have to work really hard at not walking funny to rehearsals tomorrow.”

“You did upset me with assuming things.”

“What was I supposed to think, Kaoru? You agreed to marry her in the first place and you’ve said in the past about how you feel about monogamy in marriage. I agree with that but…well, you were engaged.”

“So you thought I felt nothing for you?”

“I don’t know,” Die sighed and pulled away. “Lust is powerful so maybe.”

“Yeah but so is love.”

“What do you want me to say?” Die asked and turned away. Kaoru grabbed his arm and pulled him back around. 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s over with but now you know I love you and I want no one else.”

“I love you too, Kaoru,” Die whispered.

Kaoru accepted that response and nodded before pulling Daisuke back to him. Kaoru had Daisuke back where he belonged and that was in his arms.


	2. Two: Grooming & Necessary Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Die takes his hair care seriously and Kaoru grows a bit anxious waiting around.  
> Also, serious conversations come out and a little reassurance is needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, forgive any mistakes. I tend to miss mistakes when I'm checking over my work. 
> 
> This chapter is based on Die's blogs but also information I've read on the boys.

Kaoru crossed his arms and stood behind Daisuke and groaned as he had been for the last hour. Die sighed and glanced over his shoulder with a playful glare. 

“Will you stop sighing?” Die asked.

“You’ve been standing here, staring at these shampoos for God knows how long. Will you just choose one?”

Daisuke looked offended. “No, I will not just choose one. My hair is precious to me, Kaoru, and besides, you don’t want me to lose all my hair, do you?” 

“Well, no, but if you were bald, at least you wouldn’t spend hours here.”

Daisuke made a frustrated sound and looked away before glancing back at the shampoos. He turned to face Kaoru and held up two bottles of shampoo.

“Do you know what the difference between these shampoos are?” Daisuke asked, tapping his foot. It almost looking comedic.

“Uh yes,” Kaoru paused. “One is in a golden bottle and one is in a white bottle.”

Daisuke sighed and huffed before turning. “You’re hopeless. Why don’t you go look at hats or something?”

“Gladly.”

Kaoru walked away from the hair shop as Daisuke stood there another 30 minutes before he finally picked two bottles up. He only glanced around when he heard Kaoru’s voice. Karou merely excused himself from one the employees who asked if he needed help and returned to Daisuke with two drinks.

“I thought you were going to another store,” Daisuke said, taking the drink Kaoru handed to him. 

“I lied about that,” Kaoru chuckled, sipping his drink. “I decided to grab a snack and a drink.”

“And you brought me one because…”

Kaoru chuckled. “The whole time you’ve been here, you swallowed at least twenty times. I figured you were thirsty.”

“I was,” Die said as he finally took a sip of his drink. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Even if my shopping for hair supplies annoys you?”

“Of course,” Kaoru chuckled. “But can we go soon?”

“Yes, I finally picked the treatments I wanted anyhow,” Die chuckled as well.

Die paid for his items and led Kaoru into another part of the mall. Kaoru followed without objection but he did raise his eyebrows when they walked into a store that sold hats and glasses. 

“Why--”

Kaoru stopped mid-sentence when he spotted a hat that caught his interest and walked over to it. When Daisuke walked up, Kaoru handed his drink to him and picked up the hat. He brushed his hand over it to test how the fabric felt against his fingers and finally tried the hat on. He turned his gaze to the mirror and readjusted the hat accordingly before he turned to face Die, searching his eyes for an opinion. The small smile that crossed Die’s lips gave Kaoru the opinion he needed and he turned back toward the mirror.

It’s not that he needed approval, he would have bought it anyway but he did like for Die to approve of it. 

Kaoru pulled the brown hat off and then tried on another. He tried on hats for about twenty minutes before he decided he had enough and left with three hats in his bag. 

“You cannot hold my shopping for hair products against me now,” Die said.

“Wait a minute, Die, I took 30 minutes, maybe 45 minutes whereas you took hours,” Kaoru tried to defend himself.

“Kaoru, half of your closet is full of hats. You have more hats than clothes.”

“And you have more hair products than clothes,” Kaoru shot back.

Die chuckled but he said nothing else for the moment. They eventually did return to Kaoru’s place and Die put his hair products on the sofa before he turned to look at Kaoru.

“Kaoru?”

“Hm?” Kaoru answered quickly as he pulled on one of his hats in front of the mirror. He adjusted it properly to suit his taste.

“Are you ever going to ask me to move in?”

Kaoru froze in spot and if Die didn’t know any better, he’d say Kaoru turned to a statue.

“Why are you asking that, Die?”

“I just--I’m curious. I practically never leave anyways and half of my things are already here.”

Kaoru caught Die’s gaze in the mirror and opened his mouth to say something but closed his mouth when he decided not to. Die forced a smile and shook his head as if he were dismissing it.

“Never mind, I was just curious.”

“Die--”

“I’m staying over tonight though,” Die interrupted, desperately trying to drop the subject.

“You know I’m not going to stop you, I always want you here.”

Die nodded and walked to the bathroom to put his hair products away. After they got together, Kaoru had a corner in his house made just for Die and his hair products and anything else he wanted. He lined up the new products and as he did so, he could hear Kaoru in his closet, likely putting his hats up. 

“Die?”

Die glanced over his shoulder before turning with a grin. “What? Did you figure out what you wanted for supper?”

“Not yet but--”

“Maybe curry or maybe we can go American with hamburgers,” Die interrupted. 

“Either is fine but--”

“OK, I’ll decide then,” Die chuckled.

Die brushed past Kaoru but before he could escape Kaoru’s grasp, Kaoru grabbed his arm gently to stop him. He sighed and and turned to face Kaoru. He knew what this was about and he should have known Kaoru wouldn’t just let it go either. He just didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Die, stop avoiding the subject and interrupting.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Kaoru.”

“Yes, you do or you wouldn’t have brought it up. Don’t stress, Die-kun,” Kaoru said, softly. “Do you want move in?”

“I don’t know,” Die replied, honestly. “I kind of do think about it. You said you never thought about asking your ex-fiancee to move into your last until you got engaged and I just wondered if it cross your mind with me and this place.”

“It has crossed my mind but I never thought long about it simply because I thought we were okay as we are.”

“We are, Kaoru,” Die said, softly. “We’re fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, we are, I just wanted to know if it at least crossed your mind.”

“It has, Die,” Kaoru replied, softly, and leaned in to kiss his lips. “It has.”

Die smiled against the kiss. “Then it’s fine…now food, which one is less calories?”

“I don’t know but does it matter?”

“Of course it does, Kaoru,” Die chuckled and walked out as Kaoru followed. “I don’t want to gain weight.”

“Are you crazy? If anything, you’ve lost so much weight.”

“Oh, you noticed?”

“How can I not?” Kaoru asked, furrowing his brows. “Is there a reason why?”

“I--” Die paused. “I just heard about hurtful comments that were said and it affected me.”

Die didn’t even deny the truth and Kaoru always prided that Die was open, honest, and sensitive. At the same time, it did bother him when Die got hurt over things like this because there was no reason he should feel this way. 

“Die, people can be hurtful but don’t damage yourself because of it.”

“I don’t and I won’t,” Die replied, softly. “I’ve recognized that I’m not eating right or weighing in properly. It’s just it was truly painful to hear that and it hurt my heart.”

Kaoru didn’t say anything, instead he chose to walk to to Die and kiss him immediately. Kaoru pulled back to catch the little smile across Die’s lips and returned the smile.

“Don’t mind the cruel people, ne?”

Die nodded. “I won’t.”

“Now I’m going to say we eat cheeseburgers, I love cheese,” Kaoru grinned as he pulled back.

“Fine with me,” Die chuckled and continued his way back to the kitchen.

Nothing else was said on the subject.


End file.
